ROBOT LOVE

I had a break from writing for a couple of days because I have had arthritic fingers and wrists. I could have done with a robot to type for me. I say this because I found this little ditty about Robots..

Wow! Just when I thought that the news couldn't get any more crazy I came across this piece on Activist Post:


http://www.activistpost.com/2014/01/robots-to-breed-with-each-other-and.html

Robots to breed with themselves and humans by 2045. I must admit I was alarmed that this was to occur at 2045 because I first read it at half past seven! However, once it had turned a quarter to eight and no shagging robots had accosted me I calmed down. So what does this incredible expose tell us? Well it begins by citing Ray Kurzweil, who believes in something called the singularity. This is not the same as the one at the start of the universe, this singularity refers to a point in the future when humankind and electronics will merge, essentially creating a new species.

The article goes on to say that 2045 will be when robots take all human jobs. Cybernetic "experts" (none are named) claim that by 2045 we would have an era of cyborgs. I hope you are ready for this people? Things are moving apace. Apparently research is being done with cyborgs on a sociological level, teaching them how to interact,etc. They are getting their own wikipedia to exchange ideas and learn. Cyber geeks (probably without girlfriends) predict an evolutionary machine that can learn and self replicate.

I'll quote the next bit, else you might think I'm making this up:

"With the rapid advances made in the realm of 3D printing, they would likely begin by printing out their progeny, or perhaps would breed at the molecular level through their silicon and carbon make-up. Others experts such as Professor Noel Sharkey from England's Sheffield University point to the same concept as the "Wikipedia for Robots" - through a simple software swap, new intelligence could be created, as well as the likelihood of other upgrades like virus protection. Incidentally, the organic component of this is also being researched by geneticists as downloadable DNA via our own human Internet."

They might print copies of themselves or breed at the molecular level. I presume that they are going to have silicon children then. Downloadable virus protection, though, now theres a concept! I wonder if it will cover the flu and sexual disieses? Come to think of it, would new sexual disieses come in to being? Or allergies to Robot lubricants?The writer, Nicholas West, then points out the extent that technology has invaded our lives and how we can't live without it. He implies that we have a "love" for machines that could develop. I don't know about this Nick guy, I mean I love my computer but I don't want to have sex with it. Anyway, to continue, these robots are infiltrating society. They are already employed in the "Care" profession (a misnomer if ever there was one). There is a list of jobs, citing sources for you to check at the above link. Amongst the jobs these robots do (bloody Robots, coming over here, stealing our jobs, shaggin' our women... I can hear it now!) are Butling (er, if thats what the act of being a butler is), waiters, nurses, pet walkers and teaching. Teaching? Isn't that already run by programmed Robots?

Apparently there is research to say that we are predisposed to fondness for Robots and would like one as a friend. Mr West points out our love of Sci-fi and goes on to illustrate some practical uses for robots:

"Robots won't merely attenuate the need for human intimacy and thus the use of love for instrumental purposes. They also seem to have attractions as companions in their own right. So far the most sophisticated social robots are those developed to ease the loneliness of the elderly . . .

Really? I'm 54 now. I wonder if I'll be able to get myself a cyborg on the NHS by retirement age? It would be good if they were like the ones in Futurama - "I'll have a lucy liu robot in a kinky Nurses outfit please!"

Hang on - I shouldn't make fun, because the Mail online has something to say about it and if the papers believe it, then it must be true! A professor called Kevin Warwick told the Mail:


   " ‘just about anything is possible’ and . . . there are already robots with biological brains that mix biological and technological parts.

    ‘This is not science fiction,’ he said.

    He believes that robots capable of breeding with each other could be produced using current research and technologies but it will likely take 20 to 30 years

before they could be used on Earth – and there are questions to be asked about whether this is a good idea."
It turns out that the mail online is cited as the main source for this piece, which explains a lot. I can't help- wondering if there ARE people that believe all this.

If it does happen I see nothing but problems. For a start, what if your partner had an affair with a Robot. Seriously, how are any of us supposed to compete with that? If a woman is having sex with a robot her husband won't get a look in. What if they come (ahem!) with a speed switch at the top of their ass? She may never get out of bed again! (Unless, of course, her lover is battery operated.) Looking on the bright side though, if her Robot got stuck (as so often sex toys do - so I've been told) the Robot will be able to walk her down to casualty. You can just imagine some poor woman lying there bemoaning the fact that she paid extra for a self lubricating model. Blimey, we'd better make sure Toyota dont make any, we wouldn't want an epidemic of Robots being stuck on full speed. The emergency services wouldn't be able to cope.

When I finished reading I checked the date - no, it's not April 1st. I was left with a few questions, like Why? Why print this waste product and why would we want to EVER mate with machines? A Dildo or a cock ring is one thing but a whole bloody person sized machine? How does a horny teenager hide one of those from their parents? Particularly if their parents have them too. What if it keeps stopping half way through tasks because of "pop up" adverts? Could they pass their computer viruses on to their human? Would they end up going to bed early after a few years complaining of having a synthetic headache, Or that they are feeling "a bit run down?

And most important of all, who is running things in the future if all the people and machines are having sex all day?